Dominance and Submission – Written May 26, 2003

I am, for lack of any better definition, a destructive person. One could say I have an appetite for it, but I just say that I rather enjoy damage. Destruction is effective; decimation works; obliteration is fantastic. Now, I would not say I destroy everything or even many things, I simply destroy what I must and, after twenty years, I have gotten increasingly good at it.

In eighth grade I learned all about how destructive I could be: a friend of mine for more than a year decided to spread some rumors about me in an attempt to ruin my reputation amongst our peers. Once I figured out what Becky was doing, I proceeded to use my own socio-political skills and give her a one-way ticket to “Loserville.” Though she originally considered changing schools, she knew full-well that I had friends in other schools that would make sure she didn’t have any friends there, either. I finally spoke to her again in my senior year of high school, but her reputation never recovered.

Once people learned of what I did to Becky, I began to get some obscure business offers. All-of-a-sudden, character assassinations were a service and I was the only person with the ethics and skill to get the job done right. I never took a contract with a person more than once and the only way a person got a contract was if I either knew them or they were highly recommended. In the four years I ran this service I conducted about ten assassinations and was never suspected of any of them.

Why do I tell you this? To scare you? Intimidation? Oh, don’t mess with me, or I’ll destroy your reputation! Not at all. I find it necessary to explain my beginnings in the practical world of obliteration. The real key to understanding how destruction works is to understand the nature of destruction – to take over and annihilate. Welcome to the wide world of dominance and submission.

So I’ll be honest, I learned about dominance and submission the same way most people do – sadism and masochism. The two are so closely linked that it is hard to pull them apart; I understood my sadistic abilities before I understood my dominant qualities. Although D/s, S&M, and BDSM are usually associated with sex that can be seen on websites similar to, I am going for a more practical jugular.

Today, I am a very dominant and somewhat sadistic person. About half-way through high school, I came to realize that all things exist on an evenly-opposing scale (yin and yang, if you will). One could use a percent scale, label it one through ten, it doesn’t really matter, the scale remains the same, and is D/s the scale is most crucial. For the sake of example, we shall use a ten point scale defining “Ultra-submissive” as “-10” and “Ultra-dominant” as “+10.”

If I had to label myself on this scale, I would probably be a +8. Once I discovered where I existed on the scale, I was forced to make a corollary to my theory: everyone adds up to absolute ten (i.e. even though I am +8, I am also -2). I certainly hope you are still following me, because now we go sociological again.

Where doesn’t dominance exist? My dominance is in this writing – I have you captivated because I am telling you how it is – to you, I am obviously a source of authority. Does this make you submissive to me? Maybe…maybe not. It’s really dependant on you as a person and what your make-up is (if you’re a -10 you’re probably taking this very seriously right now, as to a +10 who would be questioning my every statement). Now, the reason that D/s is so associated with sex is because sex is all about opposing forces begetting outstanding results (just think of the act of sex itself which you can find examples of Porn-HD if you need a fresher on it). People are more honest in bed than anywhere else and this allows them to “come to grip” with who they are on the scale of D/s, even if they do not consciously realize it. There is a reason that a third of our nations women claim to fantasize about being “forcefully taken [sexually] by a man” because women are naturally more submissive than men, especially in bed, whereas men are more dominant. Now, before I have an angry Dominatrix coming after me, let me mention that the only reason women are predominantly submissive is that the predominantly dominant men have kept them that way. Those in power desire one thing – more power.

And there is only so much power. In healthy D/s, a dominant and submissive person could exist very well together, as long as their numbers oppose each-other (I would be well-suited with a -8/+2, technically). For a person as dominant as myself, it is difficult to understand “the liberating joys of submission;” when I submit to someone I see it as being defeated because I am in the mindset of dominance and power controlling everything. If the dominant did not exist, the submissive could not submit; if the submissive did not exist, who would the dominant control?

But what if the numbers don’t match? What if you get two +9s in a room together? Or two -9s? The most common answer would be that the one from each group with more dominance would dominate and the one with more submission would submit, this is a fairly simple idea to grasp. This isn’t always what happens, sometimes the dominants will fight each other, sometimes the submissive will just sit and not talk, and sometimes they can bond without losing any part of themselves. So there are two final corollaries: each person’s dominance/submissiveness has a direct effect on the dominance/submissiveness of those around them and when the total number between two people exceeds ten on either side of the scale, tension increases between the two exponentially. Tension can be good, tension can be bad, but tension is always interesting. Just like hot videos from They can be very interesting indeed.

So what’s the point of all this dominance/submission stuff? The point is simple – within D/s everything exists – I have yet to ever see anything that is totally neutral, whether in the natural world or my own human one. I constantly see power struggles – squirrels fight over nuts, boys fight over girls, students fight over grades, people fight over who is wrong and right – all these struggles deal with dominance and submission. By understanding it and manipulating it as I have, one can become very powerful, and this power can be wielded in many ways. I have the ability to walk up to a gorgeous girl and make her feel totally ugly or walk up to a hideous girl and more her feel amazingly beautiful; I can cut down a tree or plant a flower; I can win or be defeated; I can destroy or be destroyed. This is the key of D/s: if you are not on one side, you are on the other. It is up to each individual person (or thing) to decide where they lie on this scale – some people honestly adore submission, which I can not grasp. I am sure it is just as hard for them to understand dominance the way that I do. In the end, the world needs dominants just as much as they do submissives – everything has a purpose and a place, and these roles should not be modified based on the ideas of feminism, socialism, or any other “ism,” they are simply the way things are. If you’re interested in learning more about BDSM from a visual perspective, check out videos from

One thought on “Dominance and Submission – Written May 26, 2003

  1. I think where you exist on the scale depends on who you are with. People have ability to adjust themselves. I am absolutely +8 around my family and friends. But when I am with you(so far, only you) my scale shifts more toward submissive because by doing so, I avoid conflicts and disagreement. I let myself be submissive to be more suitable to your personality, and be comfortable around you. Found that agreeable?

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