No Use For A Name – September 15, 2003

I’m sorry, I can’t cluster words, I find it ridiculous. When I cluster words and then write, I simply get distracted during my writing either because I have a thought that isn’t “on the page” and have to figure out where to put it or, what’s infinitely worse, finding something on the cluster that you don’t want anymore that nags at you to put it in just because you thought it. In order for me to maintain my “stream-of-consciousness” style, it has to be just that. My cluster is my mind, that’s how I like it and that’s how it is most effective.

Clustering words is just one of the things I can’t do, or at least I dislike. I am truly fortune’s fool within the scope of, really, almost everything. The best example I can give is my writing, mainly because I know you, my reader, can relate at least to the idea of language and its power. Ever since I was young, I have had a power of empathy that was ever-present, and was most present in my words. I have always talked, but I soon realized that people dislike men who talk a lot; these men are looked upon as arrogant or prickish, and I definitely know I come off that way to many people. And, yes, I made the word “prickish” up.

What’s worse is I can’t properly explain myself, but I do my best in my writing, because it’s the only time when I have the entire world’s attention without anyone reading what I write. There is no way to define the way I am as a person, let alone a writer, because I don’t really exist, not in the way people think. I walk in and out of lives, affecting people where I happen to affect them, and learning what I can while I’m there. People tell me I’m a prophet, people call me a heretic; I say I’m just trying to find some truth in the world.

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