Endings and Beginnings – Written April 8, 2003

How will it end?


When will it really begin?

We love and we loathe our aspirations, our expectations, and our anticipations. They keep us all living without actually allowing us to live; we are constantly waiting for a conclusion so we can begin another story.

We learn in high school to get into college – then we’ll start our lives.

We strive for excellence is college so we can get good jobs – then we can start our real lives.

We work hard in the job, because once we get promoted, then we can really live.

Once we get married, then we can be really happy, then we can live how we want to live.

We really want kids, then we can live our lives and live vicariously.

When we retire, that’s when it will happen, then we can start living.

If I could only die, then I can live…

We can not stop ourselves from aspiring – that is human nature. Even subconsciously we anticipate and create expectations of what will happen, even when we miss what is happening. Sometimes we even get so caught up in the aspiration that we don’t even care when the climax comes…we’re too busy looking toward the horizon. We are just sitting and watching life pass by while we look forward asking, “Now what?”

Ants and sheep walking around, masking themselves as real people: there are no real people. Who isn’t fake? Who isn’t shady? Who is totally straight up about everything? We all have skeletons, and we are all too afraid to let them out of the closet. After all, what would they think of us if we did?

Nothing is real, not the way we all think it is. Working jobs we hate to buy shit we don’t need…all a bunch of slaves to a system that would rather write us off as a liability than deal with us as people…we exist as pawns in a chess game run by corporations and bureaucracies. What is real; what is truth; who knows what it is? What do you know? You know what they want you to know; you know what they tell you; you do as they say. So lay down, my livestock masqueraders, for today is the day your dreams are trampled.

One thought on “Endings and Beginnings – Written April 8, 2003

  1. I found myself enjoying this writing.
    “How, When, Where it will end?” I honestly don’t know, and is afraid to ask “What’s next?”

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