About a Girl

So, there’s this girl.  She’s different than any other girl I’ve ever known.  And this is about her.

We met in 2002, when we were 19 years old.  I don’t remember exactly how we met, or when – I would guess that she doesn’t, either, despite her profound memory – we almost certainly met through a mutual friend that we are both close to, to this day.  Our relationship has always been platonic, but ever since we got closer to each other, we’ve loved each other.  I’d do anything for her.

The amazing thing about her isn’t simply that she’s kind and compassionate or strong and perseverant.  The thing that always struck me was how she was able to intellectually stop me in my tracks – a feat that few can accomplish.  She’d never realize it, but she’s bested me more than once in an argument.  Well…I guess she knows, now.

Her logic is beyond comparison.  I’m a really smart guy, and her poignant capability in critical thought has shocked me on more than one occasion.  She sees through bullshit like most people see through a window and, while she is uncompromisingly loyal to her friends, she’s not above calling them out when they deserve it.  The best kind of friend to have: one that’s honest because she cares.

I’ve learned many of her secrets over the years and she has learned a great deal of mine.  She’s one of few people in the world I have no doubt I can trust infinitely.  For a guy like me, who lives my life behind my masks, she’s one of very few people I can let down my guard with and just be myself.  Her ultra-secret insecurities are something she’s shared with me – her gift to me, in that I know she trusts me, too, despite my never really deserving it.

I wish I could say I’ve never lied to her, but that would be a lie, and in this moment I am at my most honest.  We all lie – some lie more than others – some lie better than others – but we all do it, to some extent.  Some lies protect us and some protect others, and that’s just the way life goes.  We even lie to ourselves.  I’m amazingly self-aware and I still have things I can’t own-up-to within the confines of my mind.  My secrets are kept behind layers of emotional armor, deep within my soul, hidden from the world that might seek to use them against me.

She’s one I can tell them to.  With her…I don’t have to be afraid to lie, or to tell her that I do lie…and I do my best not to lie to her, because there’s really no point in it.  A lot of people can’t handle the truth, especially when the truth is that you are a liar.  I’m never afraid to tell her reality, and she’s never afraid to tell me anything, either.

I never judged her and I never will.  She’s beyond that, with me.  Her intellect, her consideration, and her vulnerability makes me want only the best for her, and I can only hope that knowing me has added, in some small way, to her excellence.  She is one of the greatest friends I could ever hope to have, and beyond her deserving to know that: I think everyone deserves to know.  I’ll never be alone, and neither will she.

This is for you, Laura.

It’s long overdue.

3 thoughts on “About a Girl

Leave a Reply